The following is a list of shows/movies I watched from 2016-2021. I would watch them as a way to survive the invisible prison my ex’s addiction had placed me in. It wasn’t until later I realized this was a coping mechanism. To this day Schitt’s Creek remains our (my son and my) go-to show when chaos emerges. I came across the series on Netflix and our lives are forever better because of its existence. It is now streaming on Hulu.

The following were watched in no particular order.

1. The Office
2. Parks & Recreation
3. Ozark
4. Queen of The South
5. Schitt’s Creek
6. Pride & Prejudice
7. The Queen’s Gambit
8. Practical Magic
9. Headspace: Guide to Meditation
10. Glow
11. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
12. Breakfast at Tiffany’s
13. The Devil Wears Prada
14. Drunk History
15. Good Girls
16. Cable Girls
17. Grace and Frankie
18. Dead to Me
19. Orange is the New Black
20. Kill Bill
21. Reservoir Dogs
22. Colonia
23. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
24. Gigi

I will add to this list as I remember others. Until then I leave you with the twenty-fifth show that changed the trajectory of my life…

25. Maid

On October 1, 2021, Netflix released the series Maid. It was inspired by the memoir of Stephanie Land, Maid: Hardwork, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive. I’d seen the previews on Netflix and knew watching it was inevitable. First, I would have to find the strength to watch it. On October 8, 2021 my grit kicked in. My ex was on the “pass-out-on–the-couch” part of his meth cycle. He would promise our son he would play all day and then precede to sleep on the couch. This was the usual after being gone for days. The meth-go-round.

As I watched Maid, certain scenes were so relatable, they literally made me sick. I vomited from the stress. (I haven’t told anyone that part until right now.) Fuck it; there was no turning back. I was going to watch this show until the end, no matter what pain it brought.

By the following Tuesday, I was in the school principal’s office telling her everything that had been going on in our household. I even played her the video. I still cringe remembering the feeling of humiliation. It was the most excruciating conversation of my life and I would do it all again if I had to. Doing the right thing is usually coupled with the hardest, it’s a place that is uncomfortable, but I’ve learned to exist here when needed. The events that followed are nothing short of miraculous.

I am divinely protected, the grit is real, and my gratitude will never end.

XOXO

***If you or anyone is experiencing relationship abuse in any form, please contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline. Text START to 88788, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or chat online at TheHotline.org.