Happy 4/20! * Insert angel choir * I am both excited and riddled with anxiety to write about this stigmatized topic. Although marijuana is being legalized in states across the country, it is still taboo amongst many circles, especially when it comes to mothers who unapologetically utilize the plant. It’s humorous because the ones throwing around the most judgment are the same people driving around buzzed on Malbec and Xanax. Not all, but some… I see you Boo, but I don’t judge. We all have our coping mechanisms, some more healthy/safer than others. In this post I will share ways I personally use cannabis to manage Multiple Sclerosis, stress, and other such things. I hope to aid in breaking the stigmas attached to weed. I am redefining what it means to be a “stoner”. Let that term be a compliment from here on out.

*Happy Birthday to Sophia Amoruso and others I care about, born on this day. The world is better because you are in it. This post and smoke sesh is for you. *

Weed, cannabis, herb, flower, this plant is adored by humans around the world, and rightly so. It has the ability to build bridges, similarly the way food does. It brings people together, promotes relaxation, and can elevate every aspect of your life when practiced responsibly. Since everyone’s tolerance is different, “practicing responsibly” varies widely. How can you figure out what your tolerance is? I am not here to advise that. However, I can tell you how I discovered mine and make suggestions.

• Use your intuition. Easier said than done I know, but you’re familiar with that voice inside you. If not, get familiar with it ASAP. Do not ignore it. If something doesn’t feel right. DO NOT DO IT. Period.

• Develop a relationship with your medical provider that allows for easy communication. Make sure they listen to your concerns and are not dismissive or judgmental. This should be a deal breaker when searching for a doctor. It has one thousand percent been mine.

• Experiment responsibly. Shocking, but tell your medical provider about anything and everything you are taking. As with any medication that may cause drowsiness, take the dose at home and do not operate any heavy machinery. (It seems obvious, but people can make the oddest choices.)

• If you’re able, have your first time be with someone who you trust and is seasoned. See how your body responds. I suggest keeping a journal to monitor the time of day that works best for you, along with methods/dosages consumed. The more information you can gather the better. This will teach you about your body and helps practice being present in the moment.

• Smoke with intention. What does that mean? For me it’s constructing a crystal clear picture in my head of the reason why I am smoking in that particular session. I hold gratitude for the herb and what I am about to accomplish.

• Hydrate. Make sure you are drinking plenty of water. You really should be doing this anyway. Take this as a gentle reminder.

These are a few habits I found helpful. However you choose to consume cannabis, make sure you are of legal age and doing so responsibly.

Mary Jane and Multiple Sclerosis go together like mozzarella and marinara. Alone both are wonderful, but when combined, chef’s kiss. I haven’t always been a “stoner”. The first time I felt the effects of weed came from a visit to a friend’s frat house at UCLA. I was in my late teens and it was glorious. It felt like I was having conversations that would’ve captivated Copernicus. This is doubtful and had everything to do with the three-foot tall bong I had just taken a rip from. Assisted nonetheless. Again, I would like to reiterate it was g-l-o-r-i-o-u-s. From then until about age twenty-nine I smoked a few times a year if any.

It wasn’t until my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis that I realized how useful this little plant actually was. I had heard the multiple accounts about cannabis helping cancer patients, but not so much autoimmune diseases. I began smoking medical marijuana to ease the stress of my diagnosis and help with the leg tremors that came at night. Ideas about the different ways MJ could be used began to evolve. One thing I noticed about MJ (Mary Jane, not Michael Jackson) was how calm it made me feel. It slowed the pace of my thoughts, which allowed me to focus and be more productive. It felt like I had control over my body again. This had a positive impact on the quality of my mental health.

Something unexpected occurred when smoking cannabis. I was able to let go of fear. I cannot feel the right side of my body and at times the left will act up. Try running and not being able to feel the ground beneath your feet or the soles inside your shoes. Go sit on your legs for five minutes, stand up, and immediately attempt to walk. Can you? My guess would be probably not. This is the symptom that is most persistent, but I’ve learned to happily co-exist with it.

Running with Multiple Sclerosis also comes with falling occasionally and at times that means falling HARD. Smack, face-first into the pavement, knock-the-diamonds-out-of-your-ring hard. (That hurt like a bitch by the way.) Falling is a fear that is constant, but does not consume me. Cannabis allows me to push past the fear. The fear still exists, but I compartmentalize it. A Mamba Mentality mixed with a touch of Cheech & Chong. Mindset goals.

I smoke prior and post workout. Whenever I share this with those unfamiliar to flower, they are always shocked. “You smoke before you workout?” Yes I do. There’s a lot I have to concentrate on as I run. Smoking holds my focus and makes it possible for my body to maintain mobility.

Here is an organized view of the open tabs in my head while running:

1. How is my posture? Is my back straight, am I engaging my core to help prevent injury? My footing, I can kind of feel the ground… ok posture, here comes uneven pavement…
2. Breathe. In, out. In, out. You can control this. Breathe bitch. Breathe.
3. I can’t feel my leg and it aches all over. Focus. Picture your legs moving freely, receiving all the messages from your brain easily. (I give myself pep talks in my head during runs.)
4. Unclench your fists. Unclench your jaw. Crap that hurts.
5. My lesions are shrinking; I always visualize the lesions dissolving away on the MRI results.
6. My ever expanding, length-of-a-Bible, to-do list flashes. It never stops.
7. Is there anyone following me? Am I paying attention to my surroundings enough? I hope I don’t get attacked again. (Read about my sexual assault story here.)
8. What is my son doing? Is his mental health ok? I wish I could take away his pain.
9. Will my ex ever get the help he needs?
10. I think my leg is going to give out. Nope fuck that. Breathe. Focus on your breathing and keep going.
11. Push past the pain. Breathe.
12. Your legs are working. All is well. Keep breathing.

These, and a thousand other thoughts, are making their way through my mind on any given moment. Smoking cannabis acts as a filter and triages the thoughts so they assist rather than act as a distraction on a run. Unconventional, but it works best for me.

I also use MJ recreationally. There is no difference between grabbing a drink with friends or smoking a bowl with them. Correction, there is a difference; there’s a few. Weed will never leave you hung-over or filled with empty calories. Let’s not forget the premature aging that comes with regular alcohol consumption or the myriad of health problems that can arise. Hold on. This is not a rant about why alcohol is bad for you. I also drink socially, however moderation is everything. My question is this: While the negative effects of alcohol are well known and have been scientifically proven, why is it more socially acceptable to wind down with a glass of wine, than a hit from your favorite bong? Then there’s the “but-it’s-not-federally legal” argument. Save it sister. It’s not federally legal yet. Hope floats and there is power in the language of yet. Apply that mindset to every aspect in your life. I promise you will not be disappointed.

Cannabis is a community builder. The revenue it can generate has the potential to subsidize city budgets, create jobs, and build generational wealth. It may also lower blood pressure, reduce inflammation, prevent drug/alcohol relapse, treat anxiety, help ease gastrointestinal disorders, prevent seizures, and fight cancer. To read more about the benefits of cannabis, check out this article published by JWU (Johnson & Wales University) I invite you to get curious about cannabis and see what areas your life could potentially improve with a weed routine. Have trouble getting out of bed in the morning? Wake and bake. Writer’s block won’t budge? Light up a preroll. Is your stomach hurting from a night of tequila shots? Pack a bowl. Mary Jane has the cure for what ails you. (Again check with your medical provider to ensure any cannabis consumption is right for you.)

Maybe the lyrics “Imagine all the people, livin’ for today” came to him after a smoke session. It was John Lennon. The likelihood of this scenario is highly probable. I invite anyone who is even slightly curious about cannabis to act on that curiosity. Find a dispensary or delivery service and ask questions. I realize it can be intimidating, but guess what? People in shops are friendly, knowledgeable, and won’t laugh at you. They want to educate you. Trust me, I speak from experience.

If you are enjoying any form of MJ this 4/20, please do so responsibly. I live in LA County and use www.grassdoor.com . It is a professional, fantastic delivery service. When I am in the Inland Empire, I use @california_way420 I have used Caliway420 since 2015. They have quality products, friendly service, and great prices. They basically feel like family at this point.

This Thursday I can be found on the patio, smoking a bowl, being intentionally grateful for the plant that leaves people better than they found them.

Puff, puff, pass ‘til we meet again.

XOXO