I’ve delayed writing this post for over a week. Why? Writing is like breathing. It is my forever-happy place. That’s what makes it so enjoyable and effortless. So why is this difficult for me? I’ve come to the conclusion that writing about Reiki means giving the most intimate glimpse into my soul. The sacred parts of me put into words on a page for all to read. Those words may not make any sense to some. And I am perfectly at peace with that.

Reiki is a Japanese relaxation technique. It can reduce stress, helping aid the body’s ability to self-heal. It is meant to be IN ADDITION to medical treatment, it does not replace it. Reiki is good for everyone at any time. The benefits seem endless and each Reiki Master has their own style.

OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor and in no way advising anyone, of doing anything, in any way, or giving medical advice, of any kind. Duh.

It is common knowledge, thanks to Google, that cortisol is produced in your adrenal glands. It is released when the body is experiencing a stressful event. Stress is an inescapable reality, at least for the vast majority of us. We experience countless stressors throughout life. Almost all of us have had traumatic events as a child. Situations that may not have been encouraged to speak up about or even have their existence acknowledged at all. This can mean that cortisol is being released slowly, over time, like an IV drip into your veins. Evidence of this may present itself as an autoimmune disease, cancer, or another ailment later in life.

When first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I let my intuition take the driver’s seat per my usual. Reiki and intuition are intertwined. They have a co-dependent relationship that is a must. My intuition has never let me down. I was working at UCLA at the time of my diagnosis. I had been going to Kaiser for over a year, and I was told repeatedly that I was suffering from sinus headaches. I had never had sinus issues in my life. I still do not have any today.

It was Saturday morning June 18th, 2011. I was going back to school to finish my degree, I had moved back to LA from Las Vegas and life was fucking great. I worked with amazing people, some of whom I have the privilege of still being very good friends with to this day. It was an early morning shift. I had gone to Coffee Bean down the street before work and had my coffee on the beach. This was a common ritual and one of the reasons I adored working in Santa Monica. (Santa Monica is another forever-happy place of mine.) A little after the beginning of my shift, I noticed I was not able to move my right hand. Suddenly my right side stopped responding to the messages my brain was trying to send it. (I’ve seldom cried over my diagnosis. As I type this, tears begin to stream down my face. I am shooketh.)

Divine timing had situated me in the right place at the right time, yet again. This has been my trend since birth. The pharmacists on staff sent me to the ER. They thought I was having a stroke. I thought it was a pinched nerve from working out too much. I could have had a gun held to my head at the time and never guessed what it actually turned out to be. I was sitting on the bed waiting for my MRI results to come back. The doctor had ordered the correct tests as soon as he recognized the signs of what it could be. He is brilliant which is why he is at UCLA, the best school on the west coast. (I am biased and no one can change my mind. Goodbye!) I had been going to Kaiser for a while complaining of skull crushing migraines and not once had an MRI been ordered. If I could go back and tell the younger version of myself what to do it would be this: LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. YOU’RE RIGHT. I would have screamed it into her ear. I knew what I was experiencing had nothing to do with my sinuses. What I lacked at the time was the confidence to speak up. I should have demanded the MRIs. I KNEW there was something more, but I hadn’t fully found my voice yet.

Thankfully, this day I’d been placed in this particular doctor’s path at UCLA Santa Monica. (Hello my old friends. I miss you!) When he came into the room all I can remember was someone holding my hand, I was smiling, I heard the words Multiple Sclerosis and four lesions. Then I recall wondering why my face was wet. I didn’t realize there was a waterfall coming from my eyeballs. The hand around mine tightened. Or maybe I was the one squeezing harder? (If you are reading this sir, remind me.) My body began shaking and it got very, very cold. It shook harder, I couldn’t will it to stop. I heard the doctor tell someone, “She is going into shock.” I was still smiling. How I was still smiling is beyond me. Maybe it’s the eternal people pleaser in me. I was hurting, but I wasn’t going to show it. My body betrayed me and did otherwise. Then the warm blankets came. Oh the blankets and the sense of safety they gave. I had become so cold my only thought was getting my body warm. It was a primal, survival-type mode. Everything around me was happening quickly, yet in slow motion simultaneously.

Now that I was warm my brain was able to focus on the words that he had said. Multiple Sclerosis. He just said that right? Yes he did. My boyfriend at the time was at a friend’s house playing video games in Newport Beach. When I called to tell him what was going on, his first question to me was, “Are you just being dramatic?” (There is a reason I broke up with him. There is ALWAYS a reason when I break up with them.) My response, “No I am not being dramatic. My mom is on her way to the hospital. Blah blah blah is making my IVs right now.” He sighed, sounded annoyed, and reluctantly made the drive. My doctor at UCLA recommended I be hospitalized and treated with a three-day course of steroids. Because I still had Kaiser insurance at the time, they said not to do that. (There’s that bottom line corporate loves so much.) Kaiser would make an appointment with a neurologist at their facilities and I would be treated there, even though this meant delaying the treatment I needed. I want to make it crystal clear that I switched medical insurance providers as soon as I was able.

The drive home was fuzzy. A part of me had died on the bed in the ER that morning. We ate at Fantastic Burger in Long Beach. It was down the street from our home and one of my favorite burger places. My boyfriend had made the trip with us, but was in a hurry to get back to his video games. My life altering diagnosis had interrupted his Saturday. My bad dude. I felt relief when he left. I wanted to be alone. I NEEDED to be alone. This is my coping mechanism when my world is thrown into a blender. I lick my wounds quietly, self-soothe with solitude, and fall apart in silence.

There is a beauty in the breakdown. It’s the place where you’re faced with a room of mirrors. No place to hide, the clocks run out of time, the ultimate crossroad. What will you do? I know what I did. I leaned into myself. I have learned to be comfortable in the uncomfortable. I cannot tell you the why or how the ideas come to me, they just do and I listen. I am not a religious person, but I do believe in a higher being, a source of true unconditional love. I’m an empath and was raised Catholic. My childhood had difficulties that were invisible. When I began learning the history and the origins of Reiki, I realized I had been practicing it in some kind of form my entire life.

Reiki is an eastern form of medicine. It deals with Ki. Life energy. It is believed this is a non-tangible energy that animates all living things. If there is a disruption in that energy flow, it can lead to illness. It reminds me of how Multiple Sclerosis attacks the myelin sheath and the cells that produce and maintain it. When MS does this it creates scar tissue, which disrupts the brain’s messages to the rest of the body. The symptoms that can occur range widely from loss of mobility, possible blindness, trouble with dexterity, and a million other things. It’s a Bible length list of bullshit to be frank. On June 18th, 2011, I did not know what Ki was; all I know is that I was working with it.

As stated above, both Reiki and intuition have to be present to facilitate the best experience and results. That night, as I processed what this diagnosis meant, I began picturing the brain, a healthy one. To give a bit of background, I went to a high school where I participated in a magnet science program as well as the International Baccalaureate. It was rigorous. Some of the classes I took were anatomy/physiology and organic chemistry taught by the iconic Mr. Hawkins. Not only that, but I grew up around doctors and the medical field so my understanding of the brain is a little better than the average MS patient. (My life has very unique, specific, non-relatable experiences. That coupled with intuition is powerful.) As I pictured the brain, I slowly let myself picture my MRIs. I immersed myself in my lesions. I accepted them. In the moments that followed I began picturing my lesions getting smaller. In my minds eye they were gone and the MRI results were clean. I let myself stay in this space until I fell asleep.

I often say I am healed not cured. There is no cure for MS. I know. I used to make the IV medications that are used to treat it. I am also very familiar with the medications that are used to manage it. By choice and by circumstance, I’ve not taken any of these. I attribute my current state of health to the fact that I use both Eastern and Western medicine to treat my autoimmune illnesses. (Yes, I have more than one.) I have married the science with the spiritual. I recognize the value each discipline brings to maintain a healthy flow of Ki. How do I know for sure? Well, I don’t. What I do know is when I rely on myself, act from a place of love, and do with intention, magical things happen. These practices have developed deeper because of Reiki.

Reiki is the ability to tap into that life energy. There is no dogma attached to it and ALL are welcome. It is a complimentary health care service that is being practiced in some of the most renowned hospitals around the world. My clients are discovering the benefits that come from regular sessions. It is self-care in the highest form. I am very happy that I took the steps to open my own practice. It’s been challenging being an entrepreneur, a single mother, and managing my MS. I have been able to juggle all of these things, on top of other tribulations I’ve had to endure, because I practice Reiki every day. In addition I’m aware of the privilege I have had. I have an amazing education, intuition, and the moxie it takes to listen to that inner voice. My inner-circle is made of loving, high-vibrational people only. (Sorry no counterfeit energies here.) Once you start practicing Reiki, you protect your space and energy even more.

Reiki me this, relax like that. Could the key to self-healing be the balance between the east and the west, faith with the logic? Maybe. Only time will tell, the most annoying four words that can be grouped together. But that’s okay. Reiki keeps my Ki flowing, which results in better decision-making, better parenting, and an over all balanced me. I hope to be able to bring that peace to as many people as possible. Only time will tell…

If you are interested in booking a session you can visit my website.

May your Ki flow effortlessly today, all is well.